Weekend from Hell

On my way home from work on Friday, my van dies on the off ramp to University Parkway. At first I thought the gas was gone because the needle was in the red. Thankfully I was able to get the P.O.S on the side before it stopped coasting. The gas station was just a few blocks away, but damn it, it was up hill and on the other side of two four lanes streets going on and off the freeway. Needless to say I walked all the way to the streetlight to cross the street and walk down to the station. After pleading to use a gas can, I got back to the van with gas. The can only held a gallon and I hoped and prayed it would suffice. No, it didn't start and damn needle was out of the red zone. Lo and behold a Highway Patrol stops and asks what the problem is. ( As if a big fat van stuck on the side of an offramp is a Problem.) He said he would push the van across the street and I could coast to gas station. (It's uphill remember.) I was about to ask him how he expected to push it, but thought better of it. So sitting in the drivers seat, I left my door open in case he needed help. CLOSE THE DOOR NOW! Whoa! I didn't know he was carrying a bullhorn and push the car at the same time. This guy obviously works out everyday. After closing the door the van starting moving. Slowly at first, then really fast. He was pushing with his car, what a brainiac! My van is power steering and power brakes and it was hairy trying to keep the van under control. I coasted into the gas station and pulled next to a pump. After putting 5 gallons of gas in the tank(I wasn't going to fill it if it didn't work) the van still didn't start. 45 minutes later my wife picks me up dressed in her asian costume. Sh!#, I forgot about the her friends party that night. Damn it! Not only did I just run out of gas, get nearly sideswiped by all oncoming traffic, and get ramrodded by a UHP, I get to go to my wife's friends' Geisha style birthday party in Holladay. Rushing home and taking a shower and dressing up and getting a babysitter and we were ready. The party was boring, I would have rather stayed home and watched infomercials. I knew about four people there and I wasn't feeling social after my hour and half of fighting my car. Yeah so that was my week end.